Sincerity

The summer before my last year of high school, I knew that I had to take a decision on what I was going to do after graduating from high school. This meant that for the first time in my life I was really confronted with the question "What do I want to do with my life?", because whatever direction I would choose after graduation would be related to what I wanted to do with my life.

I also knew that I had sole responsibility for my own decision on what I wanted to do with my life. So I asked myself as deeply and honestly as possible: "Regardless of what other people say, what do I think that the best thing is that I can do with my life?"

Then many possibilities passed before my mind’s eye, but I saw that choosing a materialistic life goal would be foolish because of the fact that everything is impermanent. Clinging to materialistic life goals is a deluded attempt at trusting that which cannot be trusted; it will all turn out to be fleeting and empty sooner or later.

At the time that I was contemplating this question, I had already been deeply puzzled by the fact that I did not know what the purpose of life is, so I felt a basic need to resolve that issue. And that was also relevant to the question of what I wanted to do with my life. If you don’t know the purpose of your life, how can you know what the best thing is that you can do with your life?

So I concluded that the only direction that could possibly make sense would be a way towards discovering that which lies beyond impermanence and attaining the understanding of the reason for my existence -- a spiritual way.

The following question after this conclusion was: "What is the best spiritual path to take?" I did not want to accept a religion at face value, because I wanted to be able to verify the truth of the chosen spiritual path by my own insight.

So the narrower answer to my question was: A path of spiritual enlightenment. And Buddhism seemed to have the best philosophy, because of its plausible explanation of how attachment is the cause of suffering and how enlightenment is the cessation of suffering.

Finally I was left with the question: "What is the best way to follow the Buddhist path?" I felt that in general the rule applies: the more intense you practice, the better you become. And monastic training is the most intense way to practice in Buddhism.

So my ultimate conclusion was clear:

The best thing that I can do with my life is to go into a good Buddhist monastery and practice hard to become enlightened.

This was, and still is, my sincerity.